Decaffeinated Moment

Had a relaxing weekend camping over at Sungai Chiling. The moment which I’ve needed much to refresh myself and to release my tension. I’ve never been sleeping so much in my entire life. For the past 2 weeks, I haven been really sleeping well due to certain personal issue and my work issue.

As soon as I reached home yesterday after the camping trip, as usual knowing that he wouldn’t call, I gave him a call and talk things over. Although he’s still in the same mode as expected, nothing convincing except more time and space, he claimed.

After talking out things, at least from my part…. at least I open up my heart. I feel much relief. Knowing myself was tired, I plan to take a nap before attending a friend’s birthday party at night. Guess what? The nap leads to a long sleep. I slept like a dead woman. No joke! I seriously slept more than 12 hours. I even skipped my dinner. Finally, I got my self a good sleep!

Its father’s day today! Happy father’s day to all dads! I would like to take this opportunity to thanks my all-time hero which is my dad. Love you much and you are the greatest dad ever!

Surprisingly, mom asks BumbleBee to join along the dinner celebration. I paused for a moment and didn’t know what to answer. She also asked him to join dinner next weekend… and this time what should I reply? Should I give the same lame excuse again??

Such a short period of time, a small issue which I consider to be, can’t make a person to behave such a way except the person already changed. I truly understand what bro meant now. I'm seeing it. Thank you.

He says he needs some space…

This is the first time, he’s saying so… This has also proven our relationship is not strong enough.

The first time he’s being harsh… I couldn’t catch the rhythm of him anymore. He’s not like the usual him anymore. In fact, long time ago. I really do miss the moment how he uses to “manja” me. The person when I first knew, the starting stage.

But…

I’ll just gotta accept the fact that people will change, no matter what he once said, partly maybe because of me. Or maybe he had a goal in mind and felt he needed to give it his all.

Relationships are built on mutual respect. If he wants some space, I would have to say, straight up, give him some space. Putting a negative context to it is only gonna bring the negative to light.

Throughout the years I have heard many stories of couples getting to the point where they "are taking a break" , "need their space" or "need some time to sort things out"..... And never in any of those instances has it ever turned out for the better.

But I am just hoping by giving space, it will work. Nothing else I can do except just to leave it naturally.

Well said today’s astrology… “Today is the day that could make me sees someone special in a different light. This is likely to be a wholly positive experience, as you may not have really appreciated them for the wonderful being they truly are, having already placed them in a certain pigeonhole”.

I put no one to blame but myself to only realize everything when I’m losing it. The ignorance of human beings! Aaargghh… I don’t know why I’m being the “so not” Becks… prollie I’ve fallen for him but it’s too late. I really hope things could work out again between us. I do really miss him.

I’m really tired. I think I need to sit back and relax. Chin up, be strong Becks! There are a lot of tasks out there waiting for you. FOCUS! I promised to bring back the "optimistic Becks".

If you Love something set it free. If it comes back it's yours forever, if it doesn't it was never meant to be.

Double Shot Espresso

Guess there ain’t any positive sign tonight as well… It can be really frustrating for the person who is being ignored because she may not have a clue about what she did wrong and the reasons for being ignored.

Am I really at wrong? I don’t know. What's going on? Do I deserve all this??

Elmo song can’t even help now…

This is so not me…

- Still bitterness, emo Becks speaks -

A thought for the day…

"Life is about trusting your feelings and taking chances, losing and finding happiness, appreciating the memories, learning from the past, and realizing people change..."

I’ve come to the extent that I don’t understand anymore nor knowing what’s really going on. I’m confused. It’s been few days since we verbally talked on the phone. I told him I need some time to “cool off”. He said he’ll be back and I thought this will be the chance we can sort things out but there’s not a single ring from him and so not expecting he’ll turn up as well. Now, what’s happening?

Is it true in the statement that guys usually rely more on their left brain?

Why do people ignore sometimes when there’s a problem? I don’t see it as great or wise. Ignoring a problem won’t make it go away! Some of us just pretend as though it never happen but when in reality it does. As saying goes, “You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality”.

Why let it dwell inside and not fix the problem when can? It’ll only bring scars and wounds, the pain someone else feels that you can’t see. Holding on or dragging some would call it, will only bring pain to both.

I only think about how to solve the problem. Why can’t he see this? I sometimes wish I can understand the human brain more. Siighhhzzz…

While you enjoying chasing your dream, I suffer silently… thinking it was my entire fault. I wish someone could listen to me now.

There is only one rain cloud in the sky... and it's raining on me. Somehow I'm not surprised. I'm stressed as well, but who would listen... If only I can shout my lungs out now...

How I wish I'm the colourful flowers...

I hate the feeling of guessing…

I feel so uncomfortable now, thinking as though it was all my fault…

I’m lost…

I need direction…

I really need a good sleep.