Decaffeinated Moment

Had a relaxing weekend camping over at Sungai Chiling. The moment which I’ve needed much to refresh myself and to release my tension. I’ve never been sleeping so much in my entire life. For the past 2 weeks, I haven been really sleeping well due to certain personal issue and my work issue.

As soon as I reached home yesterday after the camping trip, as usual knowing that he wouldn’t call, I gave him a call and talk things over. Although he’s still in the same mode as expected, nothing convincing except more time and space, he claimed.

After talking out things, at least from my part…. at least I open up my heart. I feel much relief. Knowing myself was tired, I plan to take a nap before attending a friend’s birthday party at night. Guess what? The nap leads to a long sleep. I slept like a dead woman. No joke! I seriously slept more than 12 hours. I even skipped my dinner. Finally, I got my self a good sleep!

Its father’s day today! Happy father’s day to all dads! I would like to take this opportunity to thanks my all-time hero which is my dad. Love you much and you are the greatest dad ever!

Surprisingly, mom asks BumbleBee to join along the dinner celebration. I paused for a moment and didn’t know what to answer. She also asked him to join dinner next weekend… and this time what should I reply? Should I give the same lame excuse again??

Such a short period of time, a small issue which I consider to be, can’t make a person to behave such a way except the person already changed. I truly understand what bro meant now. I'm seeing it. Thank you.

He says he needs some space…

This is the first time, he’s saying so… This has also proven our relationship is not strong enough.

The first time he’s being harsh… I couldn’t catch the rhythm of him anymore. He’s not like the usual him anymore. In fact, long time ago. I really do miss the moment how he uses to “manja” me. The person when I first knew, the starting stage.

But…

I’ll just gotta accept the fact that people will change, no matter what he once said, partly maybe because of me. Or maybe he had a goal in mind and felt he needed to give it his all.

Relationships are built on mutual respect. If he wants some space, I would have to say, straight up, give him some space. Putting a negative context to it is only gonna bring the negative to light.

Throughout the years I have heard many stories of couples getting to the point where they "are taking a break" , "need their space" or "need some time to sort things out"..... And never in any of those instances has it ever turned out for the better.

But I am just hoping by giving space, it will work. Nothing else I can do except just to leave it naturally.

Well said today’s astrology… “Today is the day that could make me sees someone special in a different light. This is likely to be a wholly positive experience, as you may not have really appreciated them for the wonderful being they truly are, having already placed them in a certain pigeonhole”.

I put no one to blame but myself to only realize everything when I’m losing it. The ignorance of human beings! Aaargghh… I don’t know why I’m being the “so not” Becks… prollie I’ve fallen for him but it’s too late. I really hope things could work out again between us. I do really miss him.

I’m really tired. I think I need to sit back and relax. Chin up, be strong Becks! There are a lot of tasks out there waiting for you. FOCUS! I promised to bring back the "optimistic Becks".

If you Love something set it free. If it comes back it's yours forever, if it doesn't it was never meant to be.

A thought for the day…

"Life is about trusting your feelings and taking chances, losing and finding happiness, appreciating the memories, learning from the past, and realizing people change..."

I’ve come to the extent that I don’t understand anymore nor knowing what’s really going on. I’m confused. It’s been few days since we verbally talked on the phone. I told him I need some time to “cool off”. He said he’ll be back and I thought this will be the chance we can sort things out but there’s not a single ring from him and so not expecting he’ll turn up as well. Now, what’s happening?

Is it true in the statement that guys usually rely more on their left brain?

Why do people ignore sometimes when there’s a problem? I don’t see it as great or wise. Ignoring a problem won’t make it go away! Some of us just pretend as though it never happen but when in reality it does. As saying goes, “You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality”.

Why let it dwell inside and not fix the problem when can? It’ll only bring scars and wounds, the pain someone else feels that you can’t see. Holding on or dragging some would call it, will only bring pain to both.

I only think about how to solve the problem. Why can’t he see this? I sometimes wish I can understand the human brain more. Siighhhzzz…

While you enjoying chasing your dream, I suffer silently… thinking it was my entire fault. I wish someone could listen to me now.

There is only one rain cloud in the sky... and it's raining on me. Somehow I'm not surprised. I'm stressed as well, but who would listen... If only I can shout my lungs out now...

How I wish I'm the colourful flowers...

I hate the feeling of guessing…

I feel so uncomfortable now, thinking as though it was all my fault…

I’m lost…

I need direction…

I really need a good sleep.

Needs vs Wants

Identifying her NEEDS and WANTS.....

1. I NEED a backpack because I do not have one currently. I feel troublesome having to borrow my bro’s one wheneva I NEED to use it. I desperately NEED one because lately I’ve been going hiking and I don’t have a proper bag to put my stuffs.

I NEED one because this will be good for one-day travelling too rather than bringing this…....

Unless if only I'm away for more than 3 days or on a business trip, then this will be more suitable. But I can't bring this... roll it on the mud and walk a few KM thru the jungle and cross the river right?

2. I NEED a proper shoe for running as well as trekking…

Running shoe

"Photo taken by SINA KÜHNER "

Trekking shoe

And they both looks so different... Do they have anything 2 in 1? Then that will definitely fulfill my NEED…

I don’t mind if they have 3 in 1, something like this….

Nike Cortez. I spoilt mine during my last trekking at Raub, Pahang. It splits into 2 =( The whole bottom part came off! And yes, did I mentioned that was my favourite pair of shoe? This also teaches me a lesson, to wear a proper shoe in the jungle but I was too blur that morning and just put on any shoe that I saw first! Stupid mua!!

The orange, red and the green one looks HOOOoooTTTTt!!

I WANT! I WANT!! I WANT!!!

3. Everything that goes beyond this.....

is a WANT as well!

 Can't blame me because human is naturally greedy =) If not, "opportunity cost" wouldn't exist in the first place. OMG, look what excuses I'm giving myself!

But there are times when WANTS become NEEDS.....

SHOOT ME PLEASE!!!

Smart Eating Habits

FrappyBecks went grocery shopping in the evening after work and this is what she gets......

Shop for the day!

Nutrient rich food!! Can't miss the coffee but no worries I'm taking lesser nowdays. Seaweed pack to replace junk food, Quaker oats to replace coffee for brakfast, low fat HL milk to compliment coffee instead of sugar and coffee creamer (latte!), "Special K" cornflakes for healthy brekfast and non-added sugar soyabean for some protein.

YAY to good nutrition and a balanced diet!!!!!!

My bitter cup of Espresso today

There are four things in life you cannot RECOVER…


The stone… after the throw!
The word… after it’s said!!
The occasion… after the loss!!!
The time... after it's gone!!!!


Often people regret when they lost something, why not cherish it in the first place?

Life treated me a cup of bitter espresso today. Although it tasted bitter, I still manage to put on a smile in front of my boss and my loved ones.

It stikes through my mind wondering how people can be so naïve and immature that just doesn’t care about the feelings of people and things around assuming themselves own the world and living in their dreams, and I’m talking about adults. It’s just wrong! So wrong! Pity the innocent ones around them. Have they ever care bout the feelings of people around them?

If you choose the cup of coffee, drink it. No matter how bitter it is, I believe if you add some sugar and milk will totally make a huge difference to it. And that applies to life as well! Don’t sigh that your life is pitiful or whatsoever. It’s not that we are not given a choice to choose. The choice of life we choose is the route we are going to take.

Credit: http://www.chrisd.ca/blog/19317/haiti-earthquake-canadian-relief-efforts/

This is when I use the word "PITY"... 

when unexpected tragedy happens that causes death, injured, homeless and buildings collapsed or severely damaged...

when people trying to run for life, trying hard to live another day...

when tomorrow never comes...

when they really don't have choice but to accept it.

Nothing is perfect in this world. It depends how we work on it. For example,  if you want to brew the perfect cup of coffee, first try might ended up not so perfect, but if you keep trying, I’m sure you can brew the finest cup.

So remember when life hands you lemons, ask for a bottle of tequila and salt.

Nah!!

Listen to Elmo song which I'm listening now repeatedly. It’ll at least help to cheer you up a little.

Elmo Song 

Nah... but to cherish and appreciate and be grateful of what you have because we only live life once!!!